Soyrizo Hamburgers: A Cautionary Tale

Listen, I know how it is, I really do. I've been there. Pop down to the local gastro-pub, grab a quick chorizo burger, decide "Hey! I can soy this bitch up at home and feel a bit less awful about meself tomorrow!", but it never really works that way, does it? In the sordid history of this site there have been two failures for each post, approximately. It happens to be that I am having my first field trip in my new job to the exotic land of Modesto tomorrow, so I haven't time to whip up something that worked for you all. In lue of something worth posting, I'm posting this mess! Ta-da! You can ask anyone who spoke to me for any length of time this week, I was very much looking forward to this. I'm completely devastated that this came out just terrible, so I'm going to share what I was going for, what went wrong, and what I would do if I had the time to do it right.

12 oz Soyrizo (Soy based Mexican chorizo substitute)
16 oz ground beef
6 potato buns
2 Avocados
2 Serrano peppers
1/2 bunch cilantro
2 tomatoes
2 green onions
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
salt
pepper
I combined the soyrizo and the ground beef, then formed into patties and let sit. I would decrease the amount of soyrizo by about half.

 While the patties were resting I made the guacamole to top the burgers with. Guacamole is a simple and delicious thing, just chop up everything else that's left, toss it in a bowl, add some cumin, salt and pepper.

 My mistake was that I didn't but cilantro at the market today, so my guacamole tasted awful.

Next I made the first batch in my  stainless still skillet which of course was just a terrible idea. This is one of the reasons that I make way more than I can ever eat and why Mint.Com keeps telling me I spend too much on food. I switched to a non-stick pan and medium high heat, which created a crumbly awful burger, no good.

 Next I dropped the heat down substantially and got something that looked vaguely like a burger, but again because I screwed up in the beef mixture, there was no saving these. At least I would have something worth photographing though, if it held together, which it didn't. My last try was high heat to start, sear both sides, then move to low to cook through. What I ended up with was a very tasty sloppy joe. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't use soyrizo because it doesn't crisp up or hold its shape like proper chorizo, and I would do a less aggressive 1 part chorizo to 3 parts beef. The guacamole would have cilantro and there would probably be cheese on the burger like God intended. Normal operation should resume next week, sorry if you were hoping to find something edible here.

Scofflaw

Hello Hello! I am feeling PARTICULARLY lazy tonight, so strap in kiddos, I've got a fun one. It's called a Scofflaw, after the Frenchmen who would drink it during the American Prohibition (I spit on its name), and its delicious.

(I'm posting without photos, i'll get them from Joe tomorrow. I'M SORRY!)

1 1/2 ounces rye whiskey
1 ounce white vermouth (French, not dry. There is a difference)
3/4 ounce grenadine (make it yourself, its super easy)
3/4 ounce lemon juice (if you aren't squeezing it yourself you aren't the person I thought you were and we can't be friends anymore)
Right lets start at the top. If you are new to whiskey, just get Crown Royal for this recipe. If you like whiskey but aren't too keen on the specifics, I'd highly recommend Redemption Rye or Bulleit Rye.  If you are into Whiskey and up on specifics, do as you damn well please. As for vermouth, I like Dolin Vermouth Blanc. In the States mostly what you will find is sweet or dry vermouth. Both have their places (negroni's and martini's, respectively), but are to be keenly disassociated from white vermouth. Its worth tracking down, try BevMo. Next up is grenadine. Do us a favor, go to your cupboard, grab that neon red bottle of Roses and just throw it away. We do this shit LIVE! Surprise double recipe WHAAAT?
2 cups pomegranate juice (I use plain Pom because its available, use the best available)
2 cups sugar
Go ahead and put those two in a small sauce pan on the stove, bring to a slow simmer, let that work for ten minutes. Let cool, bottle with a jigger of vodka or gin and you've got yourself a grenadine.
Next grab your favorite cocktail shaker, add ice and all the ingredients, then shake for a good 30 seconds. Strain and serve over ice in a cocktail glass.

Just an FYI, this post has not been proof red. DEAL WITH IT. 

Parsley Salad

As you may have noticed, there is a distinct lack of sweet things on this site. I really wish that weren't so, but I honestly harbor no love for such things. One thing I am quiet fond of, however, is parsley. Its not as bright as basil, its much meaner than sage, and not as versatile as rosemary, but that's okay. Parsley is this bitter baseline, this constant companion, always there to fix a dish feels not quite right. Every so often I like to take some time and appreciate parsley not as a seasoning or companion to another ingredient, but as the center of a dish. This isn't for everyone, as most things are, but if you have any affinity for parsley this is about as parsley as it gets before you become that weird guy in class just eating the stuff straight. Wierdo.

1 punch parsley
3 European shallots (or 1 american)
1 small red pepper (or a half teaspoonful of pepper flakes)
2 tablespoons of capers
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Olive oil (I don't know why I specify olive anymore, but I'm going to stop. This is your last warning, from here on out, unless I specify, when I say "oil"  I mean "freshest extra virgin olive oil you can reasonably afford")
Sea salt
Pepper

Roughly chop the parsley, pepper, and shallots, mix in a bowl with all the other ingredients, adding oil until the desired texture is reached. Serve over toasted bread. That's it, and its delicious and simple and yes I know this is super short and a cop-out but shut up I'm getting drinks in Sacramento with an old friend tonight at the Pour House and I want to get this done so I can go.

Ravioli over Steamed Spinach

For Shannon's birthday we went to Tucos in downtown Davis for lunch. I had some delicious ravioli and decided to shamelessly rip them off for a quick, easy post while simultaneously clearing out my fridge.

1 batch fresh pasta (see this post)
1 cup ricotta cheese
1 bunch spinach
1 whole egg
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Pasta Sauce (dealer's choice, I did tomatoes, shallots, sage, rosemary, oregano, and thyme.)
hard cheese for garnish
salt and pepper

This is going to be a technique heavy post and is really only relevant to people who have a pasta roller. If you've got any sense at all, you should probably be/become one of those people. Like now. We all set? Good.

Picking up where I left off in the first pasta post, you should have a chilled ball of dough. Cut that in half, then form the pieces. What we need to do is form it until it is squarish in shape and about 1/3 inch thick. Anything thicker won't fit into the machine.

Doesn't have to be perfect, heck it doesn't even have to be pretty. Make sure you use plenty of flour while forming it and take that disgusting fork out of frame before you start taking pictures. Gross. Run it through the machine at the biggest setting.

After you run it through the machine you will have a slightly thinner mess. Fold it over like a letter into thirds, then run through the machine again and again, lowering the size each time, until you reach the desired thickness, which is usually as thin as you can get it.

In my experience, you need three hands to work one of these things. The first hand should feed the pasta into the top, the second should turn the crank, and the third should guide the pasta out the bottom, watching carefully for snags. What happens is as the pasta gets thinner and thinner the flower gets more and more incorporated into the dough, which is good, and the dough appears to be more wet, which is bad. You need to flower the dough after every pass, or else the wet bits will get stuck on the metal rollers and its just a mess. Work slow, keep a ton of flower on hand, and watch for snags. Eventually you will get to the point where its so thin that no matter what you do it will catch. That is the point at which you should stop.

I usually end up with two completely different pieces of pasta, but that's fine. Cut them into sections you can manage, like so. I prefer to use my bench scrape for pasta cutting because it feels pretty awesome, but you can use a knife or a pizza cutter.

In a bowl mix the ricotta with the egg, lemon juice, salt and pepper. You can add pepper flakes here if you like or lemon zest or pretty much anything else.

Scope the filling with a teaspoon and add dollops just off-center to the pasta, spacing them about an inch apart.

Fold the pasta over the filling and press down. Starting from the folded side and working to the open edge, press down HARD on the space between the filling lumps. You want to get all the air out of the pasta so leave the front edge for last.

Most people use an egg wash to hold the pasta sheets together, but I've always just pressed the edges really really hard and it holds plenty fine. If you were using a less fresh or wet dough then maybe it would be helpful, but I really don't know.

Boil the pasta on a very low boil until the pasta floats, and even then give it another minute or so. Work in small batches.

While the pasta is working, in a pan steam the spinach until wilted and delicious. I recently lost a roommate, but gained a best friend, but also lost a handy vegetable steamer. What's a fellow to do, you might ask? This.

I put the spinach in a ramekin in a small amount of water and steamed with the lid closed. Worked pretty well, all things considered. Arrange the spinach on a plate, top with pasta and sauce, then serve!