Jack Rose

Hello Hello! I am very sorry I didn't post last week but I was busy being the worst person ever. I've decided to make it up to you all by posting a delicious, classic, boozy drink; the Jack Rose. A simple drink consisting of three, at the most four, ingredients, its from that wondrous pre-Sex in the City era where a man could drink a neon pink drink out of a martini glass and not get shit for it. 

2 oz Laird's Apple Jack 

1 oz home made grenadine (requires 2 large pomegranates, 2 cups sugar, 1/2 oz wine, citrus bitters)

1/2 oz lemon juice

1 dash Peychaud's Bitters

Lets start with the grenadine, which is a nightmare. After many hours of research and experimentation, I have determined pomegranates are just miserable. 

I tried paddling it, I tried picking the seeds out underwater, none of it is fun, all of it is terrible. The only advice I can give is wear and apron and don't drop it because then it looks like you murdered someone. 

Right, moving on. Seed both the pomegranates  add a half cup of water, put on the stove in a covered pot. Apply medium heat for 10 minutes, until the seeds are limp and give up their juices. 

These pomegranates are from the Davis Farmer's Market. One of them was filled with seeds so ripe they were almost black; the other had a much lighter color. The lighter seeds had a more tart taste, the darker much sweeter. I actually recommend getting a combination, if at all possible. Next pour the entire mixture into a blender and pulse in five second bursts until all the seeds appear popped. 

Now strain them back into the pot, being careful not to force the pits through the mesh. 

Add the sugar to form a simple syrup. Let cool, then add the vodka and bitters. Citrus is recommended, but I prefer dandelion bitters because citrus is boring some days. The vodka will help keep it fresh in the fridge for a few weeks. 

Now for the fun part! Combine all ingredients in a shaker over cubed ice, shake the dickens out of it for a solid thirty seconds, strain and serve in a martini glass. Enjoy with totally disregard to any prat who thinks Jack Roses aren't for men. Hemingway drank them, for God's sake. 

       

Stir Fry

A vast majority of all stir fry ever made in a home kitchen have been terrible. That's a fact. That's just science. The culprit isn't your sauce, it isn't your veggies, it probably isn't even your technique. Odds are its that miserable stove of yours. My stove is more miserable than most. It is one of those god awful coil numbers that can't tickle a kettle in under 20 minutes. Disgraceful, I know. What happens when you try to stir fry without a crazy hot wok is you get steamed vegetables. Which is fine, but not what we are going for. What we want is that beautiful char with a crisp interior. With the assistance of some dear friends and the Internet, we found a solution. As with most of life's problems, our salvation was found in the humble grill.

2 bell peppers

4 baby bok choy

1/2 pound snap peas

2 Japanese eggplants

4 stalks of celery

2 large white onions

Shannon's Stir Fry Sauce (or appropriate substitute)

Chop everything into stir fry appropriate shapes. I like the celery in matchsticks, but an argument for just chopping it can be made. That's the easy part. Next you need to start a chimney of charcoal.

 I personally use lump mesquite coals, they burn considerably longer than briquettes but they are harder to pack into a chimney. Once the coals were completely white, we put the wok over the top, added some oil, tossed a bell pepper in there and waited for it to sizzle. And waited. And waited.

 Turns out, when you but the wok directly over the chimney, it suffocates the coals and doesn't heat up well at all. The solution? Our wok, like most home woks, comes with a stand so it can rest above the flames but still have a round bottom. We put this stand down first, then dumped the goals into it. Because we were working with lump coals nothing fell through, but if you are using briquettes just remove the top grill. This allowed us to put the wok directly on the coals, like damned fools, but goddammit it was hot. Sizzle hot. Red hot actually, but that's not the point. 

Once you get the pan crazy hot, work in small, quick batches. toss everything with a bit of oil and keep the ingredients moving. The higher up the sides the cooler the wok is, so if you see something getting too cooked move it up to the sides. 

Once we had all the veggies cooked, we put them back in the wok, tossed all the sauce on it, then let it cook for about 30 seconds, and took it inside. Served it over rice. It was hands down the best at home stir fry any of us had tasted. 

Couscous with Asparagus and Artichoke

I've got some pretty weird news today. As some of you know, I've been going through a lot of big changes lately, what with the new job and Shannon moving out. During times of change I like to reflect; see where I'm at and where I want to go next. I was shocked, SHOCKED, to discover that I should probably not eat nearly as much meat as I do now. I know, I know, this sounds like something I would never say but it looks like the right play. A few months ago I stumbled upon this article about Mark Bittman's Vegan Before 6 book thing. I skimmed the article and filed it away, but something about it really stuck with me. It seemed simple and still allowed for me to eat all the weird and fun stuff I hold dear. This has made a noticeable change on my health and appearance. I lost about 15 pounds (granted I exercise more now) and occasionally don't eat meat for a week without trying. That's a bit of a round about way of saying I don't really eat meat or dairy unless I'm out anymore, so expect to see a lot more vegetarian/vegan recipes. Once a quarter or so I will make it a point to find some offal or other weird bit to cook up, no worries. I cannot emphasize enough how not serious I am taking this. I will still probably eat meat when I go to dinners, and I'm not going to get up in your shit if you server me a soup that was made with chicken broth. This has nothing to do with religion, or morals, or anything else besides I have a shot at living past thirty and, however unlikely that is, in the event that it does happen I would like to enjoy those years. Now that we got all that noise out of the way, lets cook yeah?

1 cup pearled couscous (sometimes called Israeli couscous)

1 1/2 cup water

2 artichokes (or 1/2 cup of marinated artichoke hearts, whatever)

1 bunch asparagus

1 cup grape tomatoes

1/2 cup olives

1/2 bunch parsley

salt 

pepper

The longest thing to cook is the artichokes, so if you want to substitute canned hearts, its a big time saver. If you are like me and enjoy artichokes steamed and then eaten with some melted butter or pesto, they make a great appetizer and you can throw the hearts into the main dish after your guests have picked them clean. Add an inch of water to the bottom of a large pot. Toss in a bay leaf and a garlic clove, add your steamer (or in my case some ramekins) then bring to a boil. Rinse the artichokes well while the water is working. Reduce heat until the water is simmering, then add the artichokes. They will take between 45-60 minutes, but besides checking the water and turning them every 15 minutes they really do take care of themselves. 

While those are covered and steaming, rinse and trim the asparagus, then arrange on a baking sheet. Salt them liberally and dizzle with oil. Pre-heat the oven to 350, then let the asparagus roast for 15-20 minutes, turning them every 5 minutes. I like mine to get nice and crunchy, but if you just want them to get bright green that is fine too. 

I'd recommend following the instructions on the back of the couscous, but if you are like me and prefer to keep it in a pretty jar, you probably threw the instructions away and are desperately trying to remember them. For one cup of couscous, bring one and a half cups of lightly salted water to a boil, then add the couscous. Reduce the heat to medium low and allow to cook for 8 minutes, stirring once. All the liquid should be absorbed by then, but be sure to fluff with a fork to let the trapped steam out. 

Next chop the asparagus into 1 1/2 inch segments, half the tomatoes, and loosely chop the olives, artichoke hearts, and parsley. Throw it all together, drizzle with some oil, and call it a night!